Let's do some pretending. YOU ARE this widow or widower: Your kids are strung from hell to breakfast and you seldom hear from three of them. You are so old that most of your friends, and some of your children, are dead. You've stopped taking medicine for the winter so that you can pay your fuel bill. Your walks are covered with snow because you are too old to clear them. You live on Social Security. You have no savings or pension. You suffer from arthritis pain day and night. Sleep is something you did when you were younger. You've got holes in your teeth but no money to have them repaired. The cotton in your ears is because you have a constant ear infection. You use a walker to get around the house. Your car is low on gas so you decide to go to the grocery store but not to church. You know you shouldn't drive your car without auto insurance. You wanted to go to the community dinner for the aged but the article in the paper said they were taking donations. You didn't have a buck to drop in the box. You didn't go and nobody brought you a dinner. (You knew that you didn't have to donate to get your dinner, but you're a proud person, and didn't want others to know about your problems.) You have no cable television. Your television set doesn't work anyway. The telephone company has threatened to cut off your service. The power company has given you a grant for the winter so that you will have electricity. (If you die, it won't be their fault.) You have no life insurance. You couldn't keep up with the premiums. Now pretend again: YOU ARE this divorced or abandoned woman with school-age children, or, your husband is well and at home, but out of work. You don't know where the rent is coming from. You have insufficient funds and food stamps to feed your family. The car has a dead battery, but you don't have money to buy gas anyway. The kids need shoes because they are growing so fast. You need personal items because you are a woman but have no money whatsoever to buy them. Your former friends and neighbors are embarrassed about your poverty and try to ignore you less you ask them for something that you desperately need. Some neighbors say that your husband is out of work because he is too lazy to find a job. Your church has never visited you to see if you have needs. You don't go to church anymore. Now pretend one more time: YOU ARE living in a nursing home. You are confused about what is going on at times; unless someone is kind or cruel to you. The food tastes like straw. It's Christmas time but the vase of flowers has been in the windowsill wilting away since Mother's Day. Nobody has bothered to empty the vase and you can't even reach it. The nurses are kind and efficient but the hourly employees could care less about your welfare. Some are mean and cruel. You use to ask them for help adjusting your bed, sitting you up, handing you a book, and personal needs. Now you wait until the nurse comes, knowing that she will help you. However, the nurse is busy and can't always get to you when you have a need. You are lonely. You can't wait to get out of the nursing home. You will welcome death. For those who care, here are some things you can do to help the down and out. REMEMBER: You can't do something for everybody. You can do something for somebody. Some charities are able to reach out in a broad way. They solicit money, deduct administrative fees, and spread your wealth. It's good that this occurs. That is not what this article is about except for those who can't get out and help the needy. If you can't give help, you can always give cash to the Salvation Army or your local rescue mission. Try some of these activities : Meet with your family and tell them that you would like to help a widow, widower, needy family, or a person living in a nursing home. Identify the family or person you would like to help. Determine the needs and interest of the person or family. Decide what you can do to help. Here are some suggestions : Select items for a basket such as fruit, cookies you baked, candy and nuts that you know the person or family can eat. Bake a fruitcake, banana bread, pumpkin bread, or that special bread that only your grandmother could make. Take that to your selected person or family. Prepare a musical number or two. When you deliver your gift to a home or nursing home, perform your musical number. Prepare a box of groceries for those who need substance more than cakes or cookies. If you need to, ask your extended family or church group to help you obtain needed items and gifts for the children. Present a gift certificate for items at a variety store that sells items that your person or family need. (This is good for those who are busy and the gift can be given anonymously if you like. However, it is better to give a gift of yourself too, showing our love and concern.) Clean snow of the walks of a widow or widower, offer to do small but needed task, leave a basket or grocery box. If you are observant, you might notice that an individual needs gloves, a shawl, a hat, etc. Keep your eyes open. Remember that a gift made or prepared by you will be graciously accepted. So keep everything as personal as you can. If possible, do everything as a family. One Last Thing Call the local rescue mission. See if you and your family can help serve a meal. You will not only have a great time meeting others that serve the needy, you will have tons of fun serving the food and accepting the thanks of those you are serving. I guarantee it! The End |
