Your sense of humor is the lubricant to keep your morale up and running, no matter what. But this is so only if you choose to use it. Here is an example. I visited a patient in the hospital where I was chaplain. Recovery from his surgery was going slower than expected. The pain, confinement, and his worry about the possibility of more surgery left him discouraged. Many friends sent him get-well greetings. and while he appreciated being remembered, he had a hard time with the so-called humorous cards The sentiments were simply out of synch with the way he felt. He got the message that his friends were insensitive to his situation. I listened as he talked about this Then I asked, "Who is your favorite humorist ?" (I'll explain the reasons for this later) He looked at me, puzzled but he thought for a moment. Then naming Alan Alda's character role in the TV sitcom M.A.S.H, said, "Hawkeye Pierce, Why?" "If Hawkeye were in this same situation as you, what do you think he would say or do?" He became quiet. His brow furrowed as he looked up at the ceiling in silence. Slowly he gave words to his thoughts. "Well, he'd wonder about these people, how insensitive they were. Then he'd probably get a little angry." Indeed anger crept into his voice as he continued, "What's with them," as he began to get into Hawkeye's character. "This is no picnic you know. They must think I'm taking a cushy vacation..." He stopped. His pursed lips slipped into a sly smile, his mind working. Then looking directly at me he said, "If this was happening to Hawkeye, he would send these people cards that read, 'Having a wonderful time. Wish you were here!'" His mood change was pronounced, apparent and immediate. He laughed, "Hey! That's what I'm going to do." And indeed he did. His wife bought him several wish-you-were-here greeting cards, and he sent them to selected friends...along with his own comments. Now take a close look at this. Nothing about his situation had changed except his attitude. Excitement, enthusiasm, and anticipation replaced despair. Here's the point. Before the Hawkeye episode he viewed his total situation as discouraging and depressing There was the pain, the slow recovery, the forced dependency that confinement brings, plus the fear of more surgery. Initially he did not focus on the whole situation, but only on one narrow aspect of it his friends' insensitivity to the realities of his situation. This was his target. But when his sense of humor kicked in, it influenced everything else. As Lawrence Peter, of the famed Peter Principle, once said, "Humor itself doesn't do anything, but it does make it possible for many good things to happen." In the twinkling of an eye humor changes your perception of your circumstances...no matter what these might be. In that instant the tensions that clogs your imagination dissolve. They flow away leaving your free and open. Your senses of humor literally transforms the event. Part of the good news is that everyone has a sense of humor. It is part of human nature's built-in stuff. It's standard equipment and comes with the biology. As Psychiatrist William F. Fry, Jr. said, "Your are fated to have a sense of humor." But a challenge goes with this gift of life. One's sense of humor is as individualistic as one's finger prints. What may seem humorous to one person is not necessarily so to another. That was the reason for asking the patient about his favorite humorist. That character, in this instance Hawkeye, reflected his particular senses of humor, his own unique comic viewpoint, and through the image of Hawkeye he activated his viewpoint and benefited from it. Your sense of humor is always present, ready and able to keep your morale up and running in any and all circumstances. But it will only do so if invited. It's up to you to do the inviting. (c)2006 Cy Eberhart |
