Am I wanted? Does anyone need me? Have you ever asked these questions to yourself? If no, you are a very lucky person. Let us talk more on this subject.
We all have our self-esteem. Along with our self-esteem, we also have a desire that someone should need us. That someone should want us. A mother is delighted when her children come shouting to her and ask for food. As the children grow up, they become self-reliant and move away. The mother is no longer wanted by them for anything. This creates a vacuum in her life, that she tries to fill with other work, but the satisfaction is not same. This is equally true for fathers. It is equally true with office workers who are depended upon for any task. If they feel that they are not wanted, they not only lose their self-esteem, but also feel very lonely
The desire of others to fulfil their needs connects us with them. It also gives us a great sense of self worth. And that is very important. A mother wanting love needs her children to fulfil that. As the children grow up, they are not able to give that love to their mother. An innocent young kid can give that satisfaction, not a young person of say thirty years of age! In this situation, the children also begin getting the feeling that as they grow up, they are not wanted by their mother to fulfil her need of love. Earlier in their childhood, they had the feeling of worth, that their mother wanted their love. As they grow up, they realize that they are not wanted by their mother for that need. They can not fulfil it. This change creates a feeling of vacuum in children as well.
Feeling of being wanted is very important to give us the sense of self worth. A husband feels good when he is wanted by his wife. Take the case of a husband, whose wife does not need him to fulfill any of her wants. Imagine a situation where she has enough money of her own, knows how to run the home without any help, can manage without fulfilling physical needs and needs her husband for nothing. What would be the life of such a husband? Will he feel good about himself? Surely not. He is just not wanted.
This is equally true for wives. This is true for all of us. We all have the inner desire that someone should depend upon us for a need that can be fulfilled only by us. This is true for friendships, work, family, and in every relationship. One needs the self-esteem, that comes from the feeling that one is wanted.
In our day to day life, we get so involved with urgency and work that we stop noticing the need of others to feel wanted. Kindly look around yourself and find out if anyone close to you may be facing this. If you find out that someone is not getting this satisfaction, you should give that by all the means. You will be helping that person immensely. You will be helping a person live with self esteem again. |
