What is one of your biggest regrets? While you think it over, heres a little story about one of mine. It was a hot August day. I was 17, drenched in sweat after football practice and in dire need of a shower. When the head football coach motioned me into his office, I knew that de-stankifying myself was going to have to wait. Engel, do you want me to submit your name for any football scholarships? The answer that rolled out is, still today, one of my biggest regrets. Nah, Coach, dont worry about it. I already know where Im going to college. We both knew I wasnt good enough to play at a major university, and as much as I loved the sport, I wasnt going to give up the four best years of my life playing football at a school I didnt really want to attend. Yet, when Nah, Coach, dont worry about it came from my mouth, it never occurred to me that years later I would regret that answer. No, I wasnt going to accept any scholarships to schools I didnt want to attend, but wouldnt it have been nice just to know? Just to see what colleges and universities might offer? Just to know if I was good enough to play college ball? Now, that chance has come and gone. (God, do I sound like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite or what? At least Im not actively pursuing a time machine!) So, again, whats one of your biggest regrets? Ive been shooting this question past my friends for the last week or two under the heading of research, but really, Im just nosey. Still, the findings are precisely what Id imagined. Very few stated something they had done as a regret. Most often, their regrets were things they had NOT done. One turned down a scholarship to Julliard, another dropped out of college, one wishes shed spent more time getting to know her father before he passed away, and another wishes shed learned to appreciate her family earlier. All were opportunities that presented themselves and, for a variety of reasons, those opportunities were not taken. Do you remember when you were first introduced to the concept of regret? For me, it was in the fourth grade. Bruce Springsteen had just released his famous album, Born in the U.S.A. and the radio DJs couldnt play it enough. My favorite song then (and still today) was Springsteens tribute to his younger years, Glory Days. Up front warning: If were ever out at karaoke, and the guy running the show has it in his catalog, be prepared! In this song, Bruce sings a lyric that struck me, even as a pre-pubescent 10 year old; I hope when I get old I dont sit around thinking about her, but I probably will. I knew nothing of these strange creatures called girls, but I knew that I didnt want to end up like the guy in the song, reminiscing about the girl who got away. So, even from that young age, I always wanted to live life so I wouldnt end up wishing Id done things differently. A few weeks ago, I went to Las Vegas for a wedding (congrats Keith and Christine!). I love Vegas like no other place on earth and yet, since I tend to be a tightwad, parting with money isnt easy. As I stood at the ATM for the third time in as many days, I kept thinking, I shouldnt be doing this, I shouldnt be spending this much money. This is stupid. Then, I thought, Why not? Im on vacation, Im with a group of my best friends, and this might be a once-in-a-lifetime trip! So, I punched in my PIN, gathered up my bills and set out to live without reservations or regrets! Its unlikely that anyone lives into old age without the thought of, Man, I wish Id done one or two things just a little different. Yet, one of our goals should be to minimize those kinds of late-in-life type of feelings. So, how can we be sure that we dont look back and lament? Well, if youre like the folks in my not-so-scientific study, you, too, probably regret the things you didnt do. Theres no way to change those things now. What you can do is be sure not to let future opportunities pass you by. For me, I ask myself one question: Will I regret not doing this later? The answer is almost always yes, and hence, I do it! This little internal question has led me to a much more active and fulfilling life. Chances are, it can help you do the same. And, in case you need any further reinforcement, just ask The Boss! |
