If a picture is worth a thousand words, sometimes a back rub is worth a million. Surrounded by a world of thought and intellect, we forget sometimes how important the physical world can be to our emotional health. The emotions that we face in everyday life can't always be talked out. Sometimes they simply have to be lived through. Grief, for example, is a normal and even healthy response to the loss of a loved one. Any emotional health specialist will tell you that grief must be "processed," not avoided. No quick pep talk is going to bring you out on the other side of that sorrow. Depression is even worse--an inability to grasp the potential for future happiness is a specific symptom of the disorder. But even the common "upsets" of life such as break-ups, disappointments, let-downs, and simple frustrations over uncontrollable situations all share the same dilemma. None of these lend themselves easily to intellectual comfort. At times like these, we need to learn to approach our emotional problems in more physical ways. First, we need to remember to pamper ourselves physically when we are dealing with life's sadder or more frustrating events. We need to ground ourselves as much as possible in the comforts of the physical world. 1. Eat well. It's important when facing sadness and frustration to approach our nutritional needs in a conscious way. Mindlessly gorging on sweets or other "comfort foods" is a temptation that can hinder our recovery more than it helps. Good nutrition can go a long way toward restoring the body's biochemical balance. Eating daily servings of fresh fruits, vegetables and whole grains helps the body to release the natural by-products of our sorrows and frustrations. Drinking plenty of water and other natural fluids is also important for flushing these by-products away. 2. Get close to nature. Getting out in the fresh air can do a lot to air out our minds as well as our bodies. A simple walk through the woods--or through a park, through a botanical garden, along the beach, or in any other soothing setting--can do us a world of good. Gardening or working with animals are also wonderful activities to help "ground" us in the physical world when the world of our emotions feels a bit overwhelming. 3. Engage in healing touch. Whether this kindness comes from a friend, a lover, or a paid professional, the need for human touch is critical to maintaining balance during times of grief. Body massages, back rubs, facials, manicures and pedicures, and even simple hugs work wonders to reestablish our human, physical connection to life. While it's important not to engage in anything that makes you uncomfortable--not everyone likes a massage or a pedicure--our bodies can help ground us in physical sensation. Even something as simple as a bath or a hot shower can be incredibly soothing in times of emotional stress. Second, we need to remember to approach our loved ones in less intellectual ways when they are caught up in the same kind of emotional stress. When the phone is all we have, saying, "I know," and "I love you," will often help more than trying to address the problem directly. But when we can be physically present, a hug can go a long way. Of course, it's also critical not to encroach upon another person's comfort zone. But even a simple touch on the arm will do some good if we are faced with someone we don't know well. For those who don't like to be touched, simply sitting quietly with someone through their dark times will often lighten their load considerably, whether they know how to tell you so or not. A romantic connection obviously opens up even more options for physical comfort, and this goes beyond the act of lovemaking itself. Episodes of anxiety and depression can respond in almost mystical ways to the touch of a loving hand. When the mind is racing out of control, focusing on simple physical sensation--as simple as the feel of one hand in another--can be just what it takes to center our attention back on the here and now. None of this should be taken to imply that words are useless. Sometimes talking about our problems is exactly what we need. But we live in a world that tends to underplay the physical components of grief, anxiety, and frustration. Learning when we need to talk and when we need to feel can go a long way toward easing us through our darker days. |
