In the beginning of the musical A Chorus Line, the actor sings, "Who am I anyway? Am I my resume that is a picture of a person I don't know."? Does this sound like anyone you know? Maybe even yourself? It seems to me that once we hit a certain age of adulthood, usually right after college when we enter "the real world"? (what is that anyway?) it seems far more acceptable to adopt a path of conformity and fitting into someone else's mold than it does to stay grounded in who we really are and what we want. It is not often that the message "stay true to yourself"? is part of the equation. What I find interesting is that so many of us seem to flounder in this state of being out of touch with our true and authentic selves and choose to shelve it in order to "fit"? in to "reality"?. Yet, if you study people who are truly successful both in terms of the external definition of success (money, power, career achievements, etc.) and their personal definitions of success (being true to their vision, making a difference in the world, being a great parent, etc.), it is most often their commitment to honor their unique and authentic self that is the secret to their success. I seem to come across examples of this "authenticity = success"? phenomenon all the time. Yesterday I was watching an interview with Barbra Streisand as part of the show The Actor's Studio taped several years ago. On more than one occasion she stated that the reasons she has chosen the projects she has over the years and turned down a myriad of others is because the work has to speak to who she is and what she's about. When she was a young artist just starting to experience success, many people wanted her to change: fix the nose, cap the teeth, and change the clothes. She refused, opting instead to honor who she really was on the inside and the outside. And, it goes without saying that she has been wildly successful as one of the legends of our time. I see more examples of this when I read or listen to interviews with successful women (from Oprah to Cheryl Richardson to Idina Menzel and others). Their advice in no uncertain terms always boils down to "be yourself"? and "be true to yourself"?. Your real power, passion, and unique contribution to this world lies in being the real you and not some second rate imitation of someone else or what someone else thinks you should be. While the truly successful have found a way to be authentic in their lives and work, many of us are still plagued by what that means for us and how to make it happen. We often justify the need to shelve our unique selves as some sort of bizarre tradeoff in exchange of real world success. And, for those who achieve one without the other, it is an empty and frustrating reality. Consider the voices of these highly successful executive women in a recent Wall Street Journal Article entitled: "Professional Women Strive to Be Authentic at Work"?. So, it is around us every day, we just don't talk about it or we assume that's just the way things are. How are you doing in your life? Do you feel you get to be the real you or are you not even sure what the real you looks like anymore? If you're not sure, consider the following: " What are the roles you currently play in your life (father, mother, partner, friend, employee, etc.)? " On a scale of 1 to 10 (highest), rank your level of satisfaction with each of these areas of your life. " If you were to make each of these areas a "10"? what kind of person would you have to be to make that happen? What would you have to do differently? Remember, life is not like watching a movie where you just sit eating your popcorn and chocolates and passively watch it go by. You are the writer, director, producer and star of the movie called Your Life and you get to call the shots. Ready, set, action! |
