Do you ever find yourself in situations where you feel overwhelmed by the person who is speaking to you. It is as if their charisma and enthusiasm takes over and you just cannot seem to think for yourself. For a moment you are lost in a blur of their words. The worst part is the fact that you cannot seem to regain composure or even assert your own opinion. What is the solution? How to assert yourself in the face of a wave of charisma: 1 Break Rapport What? Yes, break rapport but do so gently by adjusting your posture and by changing your rate of breathing. Mr.Charisma has you locked into deep rapport with his every word and every movement. Until you regain your own pace, your own natural breathing rhythm and your own posture you will be subject to his lead. Notice how you feel in your body, put some of your attention back onto yourself. Only then will you be able to think for yourself and to form your own opinions. 2 Filter The Words Once you have regained a sense of how you feel and think in the present moment it is time to filter the words that Mr.Charisma speaks so eloquently. A filter will help you to maintain this sense of self and the ability to think for yourself. A visual filter is easiest for some people. Imagine a wall in the air between you and him, a wall that filters the words so that you only hear the words without feeling drawn into his world. Other people prefer a auditory filter. Imagine that your ears can be tuned in like a radio. You only hear the words not the way the words are manipulated to effect your emotions. Choose a filter that appeals to you and use it to help you think independently so that you can evaluate what you are listening to. Why does this work? By using your imagination in this way, you are using the power of your right brain to help you get what you want. 3 Take Back Time Take time out from the onslaught. Either ask directly for time to consider what is being said or occasionally repeat back what he is saying in your own words. By paraphrasing his words you will regain control of the flow of the conversation. You will also be showing that you are listening and understanding what is being discussed. It is simple at this point to take charge by asking questions. Whoever is asking the questions is generally in charge of the conversation so use this skill to assert your authority. Then use this time to decide what *you* think. Mr.Charisma can easily take charge unless you understand how to regain composure. Break rapport, filter his words and take time to formulate your own opinions. |
