Satellite Companies are like haunted houses for the Cable Companies, it scares them to death.
The sight and sound of 300 plus digital quality channels makes them scream and squirm like little girls. The dreaded torture room of free DVR systems playing and rewinding recorded shows drives them nuts. Once they step into the High Definition TV room the illuminating brightness burns their eyes and skin leaving them partially blind and barbequed. I haven't begun to describe to you the pain and suffering these Cable Companies are going through! A tomb where customer support mummies kills them with generosity and kindness. A massive army of henchmen technical zombies with tools and equipment ready to destroy anything in their way of installing free devices in up to four rooms free the next day. Oh, but wait!
Portals take them through an unimaginable action packed, adventurous , emotional event of HBO, Cinemax, Showtime, and Starz madness. Upon entering the Sports room a pack of werewolves puts them on the defensive giving them a never ending supply of all the sports they didn't think existed. They don't dare to enter the International room where there are moaning ghosts from every nation imaginable. Just when they think they see the exit, they go into a maze of no return made from billions of $2oo rebates. If the Cable Companies happen to make it out alive the Satellite Companies gives them a free life time warranty, just in case they want to test their fate again. I don't think that will be any time soon, but any other person would love what the Satellite Companies has to offer. Well now you know what the Cable Companies are running from and that's every thing the Satellite Companies has to offer. |
