I keep thinking about how alone I have felt for the past 37 years, with my secret. How alone I have felt as a birth mother. I felt as if I was the only one on my side of the world who had been pregnant and unmarried, and subsequently surrendered my baby for adoption. I felt so alone in all of the lies and all of the silences. (Silences--Remember birth moms, how some little Mrs. would talk on, and on, about her labor and birthing experience and then some other little Mrs. would chime in there with her story? Remember birth mom how hard you bit your tongue?) Now here we are as today's grandmothers. I wonder, ladies, did any of you suffer the famous 'empty nest' syndrome when your last child left home? Did you.............? You know what? I've always been amazed that, as unusually close as my two daughters and I were, I did not go into a depression when they left home. I always knew I would miss them and 'our time' together. This I did. But life was still very good. We maintained a good relationship while they were in college and beyond. And I did have a life beyond them. I was not floundering; I was flourishing. So why? Lady Baby Boomers/Birth Mothers, do you think it might be because I had already suffered the 'empty nest' syndrome at 19 years old? I had learned to go on; I had learned to cope and to find a life without my child in it. I had suffered in silence. Empty nest syndrome? Ha! I knew what a truly empty nest was! I was not about to experience it again. I never lost touch with my two girls. And, I took the opportunity to start actively hunting for daughter number one. I probably knew more hope at this point in my life, than I had ever known. Yes, I knew the empty nest way too prematurely; but thankfully I outgrew it when my children left home. Any other baby boomers out there share my experiences/feelings? Love to hear from you.
SueB |
