Is sexual fantasy a useful way to enhance relationships and build intimacy or the last resort of the lonely and desperate?
FANTASY
Fantasy can be a great way to increase you and your partner's sexual pleasure. Fantasy can be used alone, with a partner, or even in a group. With the use of fantasy, you can go anywhere, be anyone and do anything. In some ways, the use of fantasy is the best sexual technique possible. It's cheap, it's easy, it's yours and best of all, the world will become yours, and you are the master.
Fantasies vary a lot from person to person. Some fantasies are about past lovers, friends or even people you have never met in person. Other fantasies are more related to setting; in a lighthouse, under a bed, in a car etc. Fantasies can focus on someone of the same - sex, you, and/or an inanimate object.
There are no rules. Sometimes people feel upset by their fantasies because it does not include their partner. If this is the case one way to deal with your feelings is by focusing on the positive effects that these fantasies have on you and your partner's sexual fantasy & relations.
How do women's sexual fantasies differ from men's?
Actually, men's and women's fantasies are more alike than different. Both sexes fantasize most often, for instance, about being intimate with their current partner. Men's fantasies tend to be more visual and get to the sex acts more quickly. Women's involve more foreplay and more tactile stimulation. No big surprise there, right? More importantly, women's fantasies tend to focus in on the relationship dynamics between characters, while men's are more often about impersonal sexual escapades. Both men and women can get physically turned on by the hot graphics you find in porn films, for instance, but women tend not to report feeling aroused by explicit images unless their emotions are also engaged.
The most common male fantasies include:
having sex with an existing partner
giving and receiving oral sex
having sex with more than one person
being dominant
being passive and submissive
reliving a previous experience
watching others make love
trying new sexual positions
The most common female fantasies include:
having sex with an existing partner
giving and receiving oral sex
having sex with a new partner
romantic or exotic locations
doing something forbidden
being submissive
reliving a previous experience
being found irresistible
trying new sexual positions
Caution about sharing fantasies
Although some couples find that sharing and acting out their fantasies has increased trust and intimacy, others have not. Fantasies are extremely personal. There are risks involved in disclosing them, especially to someone you care for. Consider how you'll manage if they don't like your fantasy or if you try acting it out and it just doesn't work.
Sharing fantasies can be liberating, but it's risky. Talk to your partner first about the general theme, then approach with caution.
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