It's that time of year again, when you can't get away from the hearts, flowers and little cherubs that sprouted in all the stores on January 2nd. That's right it's Valentine's Day. Here are my steps for a romantic dinner with your husband. 1. Imagine all the romantic restaurants you could eat at for a really special evening. 2. Call your usual babysitter. 3. Call your back up babysitter 4. Call every other babysitter you can think of including that sitter that you haven't used for the last four years since she ate all the ice cream and hid the empty cartons under the sink. 5. Realize that you should have planned this much earlier- perhaps 12 months ago. 6. Decide to have a romantic dinner at home. 7. Try on that slinky little black dress that your husband used to like so much. Notice that it seems very snug as you slip it over your head. Be happy that your kids and husband are not at home to see you jumping around and flailing your arms around as you try to wrestle it off. 8. Remember that the little black dress made you look slinky 20 pounds ago. 9. Wonder why husbands can gain 20 pounds and nobody suggests that they need to go on a diet. 10. Find the recipe for your husband's favorite dinner. 11. Look over the recipe for fats, carbohydrates and sugars. Consider replacing everything with healthy ingredients. Come to your senses and ignore the fact that this recipe would make Dr. Atkins cringe. 12. Feed the kids early. It's not a bad idea to bribe them with some ice cream. All you want is a little peace and quiet - that should be worth some Rocky Road or Triple Chocolate Surprise. 13. Decide to set the table so it looks like a romantic restaurant. Skip the good china - it would just be too much trouble to wash. The same for the silverware. Consider cloth napkins but you can't remember where you put them. Settle for a tablecloth and some candleholders. 14. Look for the fancy tall candles that you put away for a special occasion. 15. Find out that the kids used the tall candles as swords when they were pretending to be pirates. 16. Put away the candleholders and put an air freshening candle on the table instead. 17. Look for music that you listened to when you were dating. The good news is that you still have all those songs on records. The bad news is that you don't have a record player any more. Pick a nice romantic jazz radio station for background music. 18. Put the kids in the other room and turn on the movie you rented for them. 19. Serve dinner to your appreciative spouse. 20. Tell the kids to stop screaming at each other. 21. Remind your husband about your first date/ first time you met/ first time you realized you were right for each other. 22. Tell the kids to stop screaming at each other. 23. Dance a slow dance with your husband in the kitchen. 24. When the kids come in to see what you're doing, tell them to stop making disgusting noises when you kiss. 25. Tell the kids to go to bed. Threaten that if they don't go to bed, you'll kiss even more. 26. When it's finally quiet, look into your husband's eyes and remember why you married him all those years ago. Happy Valentine's Day. |
