Too much or too little communication has destroyed careers, broken marriages and created very sad and lonely people. Nagging is a form of too much communication that can destroy the morale of an office. Delegating and follow up are positive forms of communication that strengthen teams and organizations. Silence is also powerful form of communication. Too much silence can wreck havoc on your career and your relationships. Not communicating to your staff creates gossip and rumors. Your lack of communication can stop productivity, because your workers will imagine the worst and are unclear of your expectations. Withholding your thoughts, desires and ideas from your superiors and partners results in them feeling disregarded, not appreciated, and can send a message that you don't care about your work or your career. Talking too much? Do close friends tell you to take some air? Do you hate the silence and have to fill the void with your chatter? Do you notice that people move when you approach? Has anyone every said 'BE QUIET'? IT is time to take charge of your behavior. Talking too much is a habit you created to either be noticed, or because you are uncomfortable around people. Your motor mouth can be causing you serious relationship issues. Sales people who talk too much lose valuable sales because they never find out what the customer really wants to buy. Romance dies because talking too much never allows you to appreciate the moment of just being with a loved one. Friendships drift away because you are more focused on your own chatter than listening to a friend in need. Whether you talk too little or talk too much you need to take control of your behavior if you want to succeed in relationships, career and your life. Quotes Communicating is the key to unlocking your dreams, your potential and to having a life of happiness, love and prosperity. ~Pegine Echevarria, MSW If you want to be a leader, it doesn't mean that you have to have an opinion on everything. But if you do have an opinion and it is clear and you feel strongly about it, then you should say it.
~Senator Barbara Boxer ~Stretch-or die.
Donna Kate Rushin ~Silence is also speech.
West African Saying Do you know how you communicate? Take time to evaluate your communication. Review the questions below. Put a yes after any questions that apply to you. 1) Do people tell you that you have to talk more?
2) Do you sit by yourself at parties, meetings or gatherings?
3) Do you wonder why it is so easy for others to communicate?
4) Do you look for ways to escape and avoid speaking to peers or superiors?
5) Do you believe that you can only speak to your superior if they speak to you first or ask your opinion?
6) Do people get a glazed look over their eyes when you are talking?
7) How many questions do you ask when you conversing with someone?
8) How often are you the center of attention while telling a story?
9) Do you think that your stories, insights and opinions are more important than someone else's?
10) Do you just have to talk? Do silences in conversation make you uneasy?
11) When you speak, do you enjoy creating confrontation? Do you call it a `discussion'? Count your `yes' answers between questions. If you have one to three yes answers for questions 1-5 begin a program to confront your fears and learn skills of networking and presentation skills If you answered yes to either questions 6 or 7 know that you are speaking but not necessarily communicating. One of the keys to communication is sharing information. Asking questions and asking for the opinions is important to show your interest in others. If you answered yes to questions 8-11 then you are talking too much. It's time to step back and involve your entourage. You are missing opportunities by not learning about your listeners. Learn the art of silence and how to ask questions. Study and practice the skill of active listening. Kick-butt actions: The next time you go to a meeting, party or gathering, use this game/ technique that I learned years ago. You just walked into a meeting or party. Imagine the room is a baseball diamond. See first base, it should be the wall diagonally to your right; Now look at second base which is the wall opposite the entrance. Scan to third base which is the wall diagonally to your left. Now acknowledge that you are standing on home plate. Your job is to go to each base and introduce yourself to a person near the base. You should `run' the bases twice before you can leave the event. When you play this game several actions/thoughts occur: 1- Now you have a reason for being there (aside from networking and collecting business cards). You are there to play the game, remember? 2- You will look like you have a purpose. Rather than looking like a statue, you will look like a person who is confident and secure and with a purpose. You do have a purpose - playing the game. 3- You know that you can't stay with any one person too long, remember you have to get to the next base. You want to stay just long enough to introduce yourself, ask them why they are there and what they do, share what you do and see if there is a reason to meet another day. 4- Often the communication process stalls because you don't know what to do, setting the fear of `why am I here' in motion which leads to procrastination resulting in the wall flower syndrome. Now your communication process will flow. On to the next base you mind will shout! Play the game at your next opportunity and let me know the results. |
